How to Make Your Anger Divine

Oh anger, you’re just something else, aren’t you? Honest, real, and protective at best. Righteous, rageful, and destructive at worst.

The human condition is programmed for anger. When you were a baby you fiercely cried and when you were a toddler you freaked. As an adult if you or a loved one were violated tomorrow, you would experience anger. No one is exempt.

So we’re all left with the intense job of figuring out how to “manage” our anger…in a society that shames it.

I feel like I’ve tried every way under the sun to pacify my own anger. From self-medicating to meditating, therapizing to expressing, and everything in between.

After twenty somethin’ years of experiencing and studying my anger, I vividly see:

  • how ineffective the path of anger generally is
  • my anger is here to stay. It’s truly part of my design in this life.

Since suppressing and expressing anger have proven to be dead end roads, I would like to propose this alternative: how about making anger divine?

Here’s an example of how it works:

I was about to board a plane and I was feeling depleted. If I am ignoring something that is bothering me, feeling tired is when the truth always surfaces. So as I am sitting there waiting for my section to be called, angry thoughts of a recent event began to bubble.

In a moment of intuition I knew I had a choice – I could spend the next few hours on the plane swirling in anger or I could figure out a way to make it sacred.

So I whipped out a piece of paper and at the very top I wrote “THIS IS DIVINE”, (so when the inevitable shame about my anger arose I would remember that it was holy.)

I then scanned my body for where I was feeling the anger and I noticed my lower back felt clenched.

I then imagined what these sensations would say if they could speak, and whatever popped up in my head I wrote down on the paper.

I kept going with this recipe: I felt and wrote, and felt and wrote, as the anger moved through different areas of my body.

I did this for an hour, through a handful of tender and weepy moments, until my body felt sublimely, utterly, and completely peaceful.

On my piece of paper however, it was pretty ugly. Mean. Vicious. Harsh. All sorts of terrible words were sprawled across the page with underlines, capitalizations, and exclamations.

Though within all the ugliness it was also full of beauty. It was beautiful because it was honored. It was beautiful because it was safe. It was beautiful because it wasn’t inside me anymore, eating away at me. It was beautiful because it wasn’t directed toward anyone. That dark ball of anger was perfectly content to be in the loving arms of that piece of paper.

Then upon arriving home, I offered up the paper via a simple ritual.

In my backyard I have a special place for burning things (metal paint can with some sand in it.) I crumpled the paper, lit a match, and recited “Please show me the way to a peace” over and over as I brought flame and paper together and watched it burn.

I ended the ritual with the Making Miracles visualization for myself and the perceived source of my anger.

Here is a re-cap in eight easy steps:

  1. I was aware that angry thoughts were bubbling in my head (awareness is huge)
  2. I took out a piece of paper and wrote “THIS IS DIVINE” at the top
  3. I felt my body
  4. I imagined what the sensations in my body would say if they could speak
  5. I wrote down whatever came to my imagination
  6. I did steps 3,4, & 5 until I felt completely peaceful
  7. I then burned the paper while reciting “Please show me the way to peace”
  8. I ended by doing an unconditional loving-kindness meditation for myself and the perceived source of my anger

Rinse & repeat, as needed.

If you feel inspired to check this ritual out, do it exactly as I did the first time. Then based on how it feels when your done you can modify it.

And yes, you can do this process for ANY emotion and I highly recommend it.

If you try it yourself, please let me know how it goes. AND/OR if the idea of making your emotional world holy, sacred, and divine sounds like something you would love to rock, the next Goddess Process Live class is coming up: July 25-27th.


July 8, 2014

Seeing and Believing

I am a lover of duality. This means I believe understanding the seemingly opposing forces of the universe is quite useful. For this reason, one of the first things The Goddess Process teaches is what the feminine essence and the masculine essence are.

After five years of teaching this wisdom I know how provocative distinguishing the masculine and feminine can be for some folks. I hear things like: “why do we have to define the masculine and feminine, aren’t we all just humans who want to survive and love?” Or, “I feel like this just puts men and women in a box.” Or, the woman who rocks her masculine side goes on the defense.

So in order to get my for-good-not-evil points across, I give many reminders that we all have both essences, and emphasize that being aware of how these energies play out, within us and in the world, gives us the opportunity to synchronize them. When these energies synch, beautiful things happen.

Here is one of my favorite real-world applications:

We all have loved ones we like to support, right? So say a loved one is experiencing a loss or some emotional turmoil that is impossible to bypass. Two of the most amazing things you can offer this person are:

1) An invitation to pour out their grief.
2) And when they are done tell them, “I see you.”

“I see you” is pure sunshine for the soul. Those three little words mean that their experience is honored exactly as it is. That beyond the details of all perceived turmoil, their unique unfoldment is in divine process. “I see you” shoots a love arrow into the heart of the feminine essence.

Then let’s say you know someone who is contemplating a big leap and they are wondering if they can “do it”? If they have what it takes? If they’re good enough? If  they’ll succeed? Two of the most amazing things you can offer this person are:

1) An invitation to pour out their doubts and fears.
2) And when they are done tell them, “Whatever you decide, I believe in you.”

“I believe in you” is pure sunshine for the inner administrator. It means that you trust your loved ones ability to discern and achieve. It means when they succeed, be it tomorrow or ten years from now, they will have you to celebrate with. “I believe in you” shoots a love arrow into the heart of the masculine essence.

So as a general guideline, if it’s an emotional purge and you had to choose one sentence, tell the loved one that you see them. If it’s fear and doubt, and you had just one sentence to offer, tell your loved one that you believe in them. And yes, telling all loved one’s that you see them AND believe in them is a total-being home run.


Speaking of seeing and believing, the next Goddess Process Live course is July 25-27th (click here to read more and register).

And some truly wonderful women are seeing and believing in me these days. Here are some very kind words from my latest Goddess Process Live class:

Dara is a genius. She has synthesized so much powerful information in a way that is truly more than the sum of its parts. Her vision for reconnecting women with their innate goddesshood, and healing the feminine legacy is nothing short of revolutionary. She has clearly walked the path that she is teaching and delivers the information in a way that’s concise, beautiful, and full of magic.” – Carissa Morris, Seattle, WA.

I have loved, loved, loved, The Goddess Process. Thank you for inviting me to join. It has been such an incredibly beautiful experience for me. I feel truly blessed. [The course] helped me to reconnect to the divine. It feels so freeing to let go and trust. It is so powerful and important.” – Kathleen L., Seattle, WA

I knew, even before experiencing the course, that I would love The Goddess Process. What I didn’t know was how much the course would ripple out into all areas of my life. During the first session we were asked to take a vacation from self-selected masculine practices. I chose “thinking” and “planning.” I deeply wanted to shift to a place of being and receiving and those two ways of being proved to be quite the barrier. This intention and commitment instigated the most blissful five weeks where I learned to slow down, be in relationship with everything around me and openly express gratitude for the beauty I saw and experienced. Instead of planning, I learned to yield and follow the energy of each moment. Instead of spiraling out into over-thinking, I treated myself, and others, with uncompromising presence and compassion. I allowed myself to become unguarded enough to feel supported and seen by a sisterhood that wanted to shower me with love and adoration. It made me, in essence, a happier person. I am still basking in that afterglow. All women and men who want to become happier beings should take this course. The Goddess Process is an experience of awakening to a profound state of feminine presence and connection that will leave you transformed. I am not the women I was when I started the course and am so wildly excited about the divine woman I am becoming.” ~ Jennifer Lucero-Earle, Seattle, WA The Embodied Tarot

Taking Dara’s most recent class  -The Goddess Process – helped me to deeply appreciate and explore the intimacy with my feminine core. Dara taught me how to draw from my feminine core to create, surrender, forgive and live in loving kindness with myself and others. She is a masterful teacher and integrated important content of her book with practical exercises for the group to explore in the process. Her skill to create an intimate yet engaging atmosphere of the class invited us to depth learning.  I am very excited and grateful at the same time for Dara’s commitment to women’s well being and “The Goddess Process! and wish that her knowledge and teachings continues to rock women’s worlds!~ Dr. Liliana Sacarin, Seattle, WA

June 17, 2014

Re-establishing the Priestesshood

This one is dedicated to my teacher Sao.

Of all the exciting and cool things happening with the current rise of feminine power, this is one of my favorites: The priestesshood is being re-established.

Miriam-Webster defines priestess as, “a woman who leads or performs religious ceremonies in some religions”.

Ummmmm, kind of.

Sort of.

Though, not really.

A priestess is a woman who helps others connect to the divine so that they can heal and/or actualize their soul’s unique path.

Typically, she will use ceremony to accomplish this task, but it is unlikely she will represent a religion. When it comes to connecting to the divine she is a polygamist, and knows on a deep level that her personal relationship with spirit trumps any organized path to it.

These days, there are a lot of sisters helping to heal and actualize others that do not call themselves “priestess”. They are the life coaches, therapists, tarot readers, naturopaths, artists, intuitives, energy healers, astrologists, and social workers, to name a few. Deep down inside I sense these women know, even if it’s on a subconscious level, that they are priestesses. I verbally refer to these sisters as “priestess” every chance I get, and I am always met with twinkling eyes that say “yep.”

My divine feminine awakening happened seven years ago and ever since, my mind and heart magnetize and synthesize all the wildly awesome sides of feminine spirituality. This has led me to finally see, own, and celebrate that:

  • I have an uncanny ability to grasp the mystical
  • My desire to serve and create health is white hot
  • I am obsessed with the nature of nature

These are all marks of a priestess, they have been present in my being from the day I was born, and they are all extremely valuable qualities in today’s culture.

Growing up in the Irish-Catholic Bronx, I heard about priests, but you had to be a dude and represent dogma (and thank you goddess, not being the former protected me from the latter.) Back then, the only option I saw for spiritually called women was to become a nun. Had I ever had the slightest inclination to join the convent, I would have lasted negative 10 seconds. Fifteen years ago, when I felt a lot of pressure to choose a career path, had “priestess” been a menu option, I would have been spared multiple panic attacks.

So it’s thrilling, and kind of scary, though mostly thrilling, to finally say that I AM A PRIESTESS.

And I am beyond grateful that I was born in a time where it is finally OK to be that again.

Speaking of the priestesshood – May’s Goddess Process Live course is in session (yay!!!)!

If you missed that one, I have great news: my intuition has guided me to bring The Goddess Process Live experience to a weekend format July 25-27th, 2014. If you feel called to be one of twelve special women and experience the cultural oasis that is The Goddess Process click here for details and to secure one of the ten remaining sacred spots:

May 12, 2014

GeM Love

One of the most important facets of The Goddess Process is the experience of unconditional loving-kindness. I originally discovered unconditional loving-kindness back in my Buddhist days, and in indigenous cultures it is known as the love of The Great Mother.

The capacity for unconditional loving-kindness resides in every individual, and like the words say – it unconditionally loves one’s entire experience. Yep, this means there is NOTHING it doesn’t love. It’s the great cosmic YES that eradicates fear and all the B.S. that comes with it. Thoughts like “But how am I going make that happen?” are replaced with an indomitable trust.

So I love, love, love, this love. Remembering it has gotten me through some major doozies, as well as had my back when I have dared to leap big. If you’re interested in a dose of it’s magic, I serve it up here.

My one and only tiny issue with it is that I think saying “unconditional loving-kindness” is a mouthful. A beautiful mouthful. A glorious mouthful. A magical mouthful. (I mean seriously, will you look at the amazingness of those three words?!?!?). But it’s a mouthful nevertheless (nine syllables, people!).

So when something I say a lot is a mouthful I like to come up with a new phrase for it. Some sacred slang. I did that a few years back with “being seen and loved” (six syllables), which is a critical feminine essence nutrient. So I re-termed it “Vitamin See”. Today there is a beautiful tribe of women who use the term “Vitamin See” often.

Just before bed, during the most recent Goddess Process retreat in Mexico, I realized my desire for some unconditional loving-kindness shorthand, (cuz U.L.K. wasn’t gonna do it for me.)  I blew out my bedside candle and as my head hit the pillow “Gem Love” entered my mind.

Hmmmmmm, “Gem Love?” I tossed it around. Unconditional loving-kindness is the path to some huge treasures. I liked that. But what sealed the deal is that Gem Love seemed like an acronym for Great Mother and I LOVED that.

So GeM Love it is. You read it here first:)

Speaking of which, if you reside in Seattle and are desiring to rock the grace-filled world of GeM Love, look no further. A Goddess Process Live course, facilitated by yours truly, begins May 14th (full moon!). It’s an incredible process, that you do with incredible women, that will leave you feeling …. incredible. Register below to secure your sacred spot:

WHAT: The Goddess Process Live with Dara McKinley

WHO: You, me, and 11 other bold women who want to experience the magic of this special course.

WHEN: Wednesday May 14, 21, 28, June 4, 11, from 6-9pm.

WHERE: Roosevelt neighborhood, Seattle, WA

WHY: Because you’re a goddess (yes, you!).

COST: $525 with two sliding scale options (see dropdown). Pick what works for you, submit payment, and you are registered!


But all is not lost. The Goddess Process will be happening again! Subscribe to my mailing list (bright blue box on the right) to be in the know!


April 20, 2014

Seasonal Affective Disorder and Sisterhood

I live in Seattle, the land of Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.), and I have it.

Last summer, in order to recover from a severe bout of adrenal fatigue (yep, I have that, too), I moved to a warm and dry climate and ate super healthy food. After a month of warm weather and clean eating, I experienced a vitality that I hadn’t felt since I moved to Seattle 11 years prior. For the first time in a very long time, everything was doable and easy.

I returned to Seattle with the hope that if I kept up the healthy eating regimen I would be okay. But come the third week in October, the cold, dark, damp of the Pacific Northwest tackled me. My thoughts became foggy, my energy disappeared, and I felt constantly cold. It was nothing compared to healing from adrenal burnout, but it still sucked.

Now that spring has arrived, I am slowly recovering and have a change of residence in the works (thank you, goddess). But I know a lot of sisters who experience S.A.D. and are in no position to move. Since I specialize in women’s emotional health, the following is for all the ladies who struggle with the winter blues.

The conventional medical treatments for S.A.D. are:

• Antidepressants

If you are open to them and can handle them, they work well.

• Light therapy

This helps also, but not as well as real rays. Plus, I find sitting in front of a lightbulb while its pouring rain outside, pretty depressing also.

The Pacific Northwest’s cultural solution is:

• Caffeine and sugar

Evidenced by the preponderance of coffee shops all over Seattle. Again, effective but not very healthy.

For those of us into natural and healthy remedies:

• Exercise

This works great and whenever I wonder how in the world I spent twelve years of my life with S.A.D., I can blame teaching dance fitness three times a week for the first 10 years.

And there is one more natural remedy that I want to officially put on the table:

• Oxytocin

This is the hormone that is produced when we feel truly connected to others.

You can google oxytocin and read about it’s many awesome sources and effects, but from the divine feminine perspective, the source of Oxytocin I want to bring to awareness is the hit we get from being truly seen.

I call being seen “Vitamin See” because it’s an essential nutrient to humanity’s health.

This is a no-brainer for some and a major-brainer for many. Too many, in my opinion. Thus, getting Vitamin See back on the pedestal is one of my missions in life.

Vitamin See is one of the huge reasons you choose and love your close girlfriends. The chemistry between you and these women is dosing you with oxytocin. It feels awesome and the positive effects are enduring and natural.

So for all you S.A.D. sisters, put this one in your coping basket and get with people who fill your Vitamin See tank. I know when you are in the S.A.D. hole it can be hard to come out, but make the call, the date and/or the visit happen.

It will help you whistle a happy tune for days after.

If you are curious about knowing and owning the experience of Vitamin See, I’ve got the goods:

This article was originally posted on Elephant Journal.


April 4, 2014

TGP Live in Seattle!

I am delighted to announce the very first Goddess Process Live 5-week course in Seattle! It begins Wednesday May 14th and runs for 5 Wednesday evenings from 6-9pm. Check out this video and if it speaks to you I would love to have you in the upcoming class. Registration details are below.

WHAT: The Goddess Process Live with Dara McKinley

WHO: You, me, and 11 other bold women who want to experience the magic of this special course.

WHEN: Wednesday May 14, 21, 28, June 4, 11, from 6-9pm.

WHERE: Roosevelt neighborhood, Seattle, WA

WHY: Because you’re a goddess (yes, you!).

COST: $525 with two sliding scale options if needed (see dropdown). Pick what works for you, submit payment, and you are registered!


But all is not lost. The Goddess Process will be happening again! Subscribe to my mailing list (bright blue box on the right) to be in the know!


March 26, 2014

Phase 2

coconutI recently returned from teaching The Goddess Process in Mexico and it was a special time on many levels.

The retreat was held at the spectaculor Haramara Retreat which was The Goddess Processes’ place of birth five years ago. It was sacred to return to the original spot where I first invited a group of courageous women to dip into the healing waters of their feminine essence.

This recent retreat also fulfilled my desire to co-facilitate with the ultra-divine Rochelle Schieck, who coincidentally also birthed her own genius five years back: a feminine-freedom movement experience called Qoya. As I imagined, Qoya and The Goddess Process were soul-sisters and they created magic together. Qoya

Though above all for me, specialness ensued because it was the first time in two years that I left my creative cave and presented The Goddess Process to a group. My legs (metaphorically speaking) were quite wobbly, but I held faith that The Goddess Process would do her thing even if I felt rusty. And I was right. She rose up like a big beautiful blaze of love and enveloped all of us in the sublime spaciousness of feminine power.

It was the exhale of all exhales.

That special week in Mexico was just what I needed in order to move forward with spunk-in-my-step and raise up Phase 2 of The Goddess Process, AKA the really-real Goddess Process, AKA The Goddess Process Live.

haramaraThe Goddess Process Live is when a trained facilitator brings a small group of women together to experience The Goddess Process. When The Goddess Process meets up with a pack of willing sisters, a very ancient, healing and ultra powerful aspect of womanity is resurrected and everything begins to feel …unconditionally right.  This rightfulness elicits words and experiences like this:

“Dara McKinley takes you to the depths of your divinity as she lovingly guides the Goddess Process. My time with her and the retreat she created opened a portal for me to connect with my essence in ways that will forever propel my life forward in more and more beautiful ways. The community she gathers is beyond amazing.  Like a rainbow streaking across the sky of your heart she unlocks and unleashes colors and creativity from your feminine core.  To have had my life rocked by such a powerful and gentle wave called Dara is a gift I will treasure immensely.” -  Julia Ball: stylist, boutique owner, designer

“I want to start out by saying I miss our time together in Mexico so much I get weepy just thinking about it. It hasn’t been very often in my life where all the stars aligned perfectly. Our time together was magical. To me at least, we were an absolute perfect mix of personalities and temperaments. I adored listening to everyone’s stories, both the good and the not so good. I can’t remember a week in my life – I mean my entire life – where I felt so adored and appreciated by so many people all at once. When I was so happy to spend time with ALL the people around me. When I felt stress free. Liberated. Happy.”  - Lisa S: Intuitive healer, Mother extraordinaireInfinity Pool

Mother Goddess Dara embodies the earth mother. She is not only physically beautiful, she exudes warm and caring. Being new to the Goddess Process, I was a little leery about what to expect. Dara’s open and truthful way of speaking and acting allowed me to take in the information without judgement. Dara is very approachable and honest about her thoughts and feelings. It was refreshing to learn from someone who is able to put her ego aside and give fully from her heart. Dara is a true mother, giving freely of information and teachings and I hope to learn more from her in the future!” – Ann Trombley, MSPT Owner of Trailmaster Coaching and Physical Therapy, Olympian, Author, Coach and Student!

I want every woman to feel this.

Phase 2 is the ultimate “why” behind everything I have done over the past five years in the realm of feminine power.

So that is where this ship is headed and I am busy preparing for the trip.

More very soon…..


P.S. Are you a sister who deeply cares about the environment? Child poverty? The future of humanity??? If yes, then I MUST tell you about Marianne Williamson. Check out this compelling interview where she discusses her radical (in the most amazing way ever) congressional campaign.

March 9, 2014

EcoMOMics & TGP

While I am busy cooking up Phase 2 of The Goddess Process, I want to let you know of a very special Goddess Process offer.

Over the last seven years of studying feminine spirituality there have been only a few books that have transported my mind to another world, delivering soul changing truths and possibilities. Almost all of these reads were spiritual, except for one, which was a history book I read in 2012 by Dr. Riane Eisler called Chalice and The Blade.

In a nutshell, based on significant archeological evidence, Dr. Eisler beautifully resurrects Western civilization’s societal paradigm before patriarchy dominated the scene. It’s a stunning book, and if you are a fan of feminine power – it’s a must.

When I was done reading I immediately wanted to know what Dr. Eisler was up to today and thanks to the internet I quickly found out she was doing something amazing: The Caring Economy Campaign.

Here’s the deal: back when the dads of economic theory (Adam Smith, Karl Marx, etc.) were formulating their ideas and defining what was economically valuable they ….get ready…. left out the energy output that underpins the entire economy -> the caring work of women (gasp!)

Yep, the work that makes all of human life possible was given zero economic value. (Please meditate on this sentence.)

I know it’s really no surprise, but considering there would be no economy were it not for caring work, this error is one of the main reasons 1 in 5 American children go hungry, not to mention, Dr. Eisler discovered that our entire economy suffers from these poorly defined equations and paradigms.

The Caring Economy Campaign is dedicated to educating people on the importance of including caring work as a factor of economic output, with the ultimate goal of changing our current economic indicators and policies.

This effort is one of the most important ways to re-establish feminine power on the institutional level and thus, I am supporting Dr. Eisler’s effort and donating 50% of all Goddess Process sales to The Caring Economic Campaign through the end of February 2014.

Here is a review from Dr. Eisler:

“The Goddess Process is as inspiring as it is empowering. Interweaving the spiritual and the practical, it enables participants to reclaim our heritage as women and our power. I applaud Dara for creating this wonderful tool for women of all ages and walks of life. It is a true labor of love.” – Dr. Riane Eisler.

And more Goddess Process reviews are rolling in:

I loved it more than I love brownies. And I f**king LOVE brownies. You tore the curtain off of something that already existed in front of me. You reminded me of how important it is to acknowledge my own divinity. To stop getting caught up in the particulars of daily circumstance. To throw myself into the only things that are truly meaningful, soaking up the experiences my soul needs this time around (the good and the not so good), and doing good for other people. At the end, really only those two things matter. I knew this as a small child, but I forgot. You reminded me why it’s EVERYTHING.” – Lisa S., New York, N.Y.

“I loved every minute of every aspect of it.  It is so unique, relevant and positive and I can’t wait until my 7 year old daughter is old enough to experience it … once the kids go back to school, and I have more time, I’m going to listen to it again!!!” – Tami Brauner, Parkland, Florida.

If you were considering taking The Goddess Process journey purchasing now will benefit your feminine soul and the soul of our economy.

Below is a video of Dr. Eisler explaining the Caring Economy at TED.

Much more coming soon…


P.S. For those of you who want to experience The Goddess Process in tropical paradise, perfectly partnered with Qoya, two spots remain for our Mexico Retreat.


January 13, 2014

Making Miracles

First – a HUGE THANK YOU to all who reached out to me about The Love Bomb. Your words mean a ton and I am over-the-moon that you found it relevant and helpful.

I was going to send out Part II on Christmas Day, but then I realized it makes a lot of sense to listen to this one before entering a room full of relatives:)

So here is the scoop on Making Miracles:

When I was a little girl I heard the name “Jesus Christ” often. Whenever my (atheist) father stubbed his toe, felt frustrated, stunned, or angry (which was often), he hissed “Jeeeeesus H. Christ”.

Then, on my mother’s side of the family were a handful of devout Catholic aunts from Puerto Rico, even one who is a nun, who prayed daily to “Hayzooos Kreeesto” for blessings and forgiveness.

Ever being drawn to the spiritual, I began reading The Children’s Bible and by a third of the way through, I stopped reading. Between God’s judgement and condemnation and a cousin who would tell me that my Dad was going to hell because he didn’t believe in God, I decided at the age of ten, that the teachings of Jesus were not for me.

Fast forward thirty something years and the universe sent another book on Jesus’s behalf called A Course in Miracles. In A Course In Miracles, a miracle is defined as a switch from a fearful thought to a loving thought. Thus, miracles are happening all the time and since “reality” is so subjective, when we change our fearful thoughts, we change our reality.

Isn’t this hot? I am so grateful for this simple message.

So my next step was to figure out how to change my fearful thoughts to loving thoughts, and being that I was recently riddled by fear, I had lots of material to work with. After months of trying different things, I finally came up with a visualization that does it for me every time (and has undeniably changed my reality in miraculous ways.)

You can apply this visualization to anything that makes your body tense/contract …like a room full of relatives, a job interview, a difficult ex, a disease, loneliness, grief … you name it.

It takes 9 minutes, and is dependent on The Love Bomb, so make sure you listen to that audio first.

Here is the link:

Making Miracles


December 24, 2013

The Love Bomb

On the darkest day of the year, I want to give you a very special gift that got me through the darkest time of my life and it’s called The Love Bomb.

There are many self-love recipes going around these days and all of them are extremely valuable.

You can write yourself a love letter, you can soak in affirming sisterhood, you can wink at yourself in the mirror, you can tame your inner critic, you can experience the ecstasy of 15 minute orgasms, you can say affirmations, you can feel sexy, you can look sexy,  you can befriend your monsters, you can flirt, you can desire, you can celebrate, you can buy yourself 30 dozen roses, and you can ______________(fill in the blank).

I deeply believe in every single one of these moves as they all work and are key to restoring/reigniting the feminine mind. But on their own, they’re not enough.

Having been on a serious self-love quest for quite some time now, I have come to see that there is only one bad-ass that leaves the relentlessness of self-aggression relented, that brings ego’s endlessness to an end, and that relegates fear to the corner of the room. And that bad-ass is called:


She – unconditional loving-kindness – isn’t some woo-woo idea that I am making-up. She is a very real force that exists inside every being.

If you want to find an obvious real-world example of her – just find a baby and it’s mom  – they are arsenals of her. Babes both illicit her exquisite regard and pour her into whoever is fortunate enough to meet their gaze. If you ever had a moment of loving a babe or being loved by one, you know this intense positive feeling.

The western rational mind has reduced this incredible love to some primal survival mechanism, but in reality, it is a divine force that ensures the actualization of the soul at every stage of human life.

And the most radical thing about her is that she does not give a shit.

She doesn’t care if you’ve conjured all your desires or if you have no clue what you want. She doesn’t care if you weigh 300 pounds or just made yourself puke a pint of Ben and Jerry’s. She doesn’t care if you declared bankruptcy or if you’re driving a new lexus. She doesn’t care if you’re single for the rest of your life or in a difficult relationship you can’t seem to leave. She doesn’t care if you look like crap or if you feel like crap.

She doesn’t care if you fucked it up again, if you fucked him again, or if you think you’re fucked.

Are you getting this? There is NOTHING you can come up with that will deter her love – just like the love a mother has for her child. The word unconditional means it is indomitable.

She is the most majestic and magical OK on the planet. That it is completely and utterly OK to be having whatever experience you are having.

Invoking, aligning, and embodying this great-mother-love reduces ferocious fear to a piece of lint, and depending how close you are to her – keeps fear consistently in check.

Once fear is out of the equation what you are left with is heart: peaceful, tender, cracked, and probably broken, but true, and above all, free.

I first met unconditional loving-kindness while I was attending Naropa University. In Tibetan Buddhism she is called Maitri. We lost touch with each other over the last 10 years, but I met up with her again this past March.

Now that we are reunited, I consider my relationship with her the most important relationship in my life. Everything else flows from it.

SO I have bottled her for you … in an audio that I named The Love Bomb. All you need is 12 minutes and a super comfortable spot to listen from.

She is especially useful and penetrating if things suck. When things don’t make sense, she makes perfect sense. So if times are tough, I highly recommend listening to this audio often – until her unconditional regard feels consistently embodied.

If things are pretty good right now, then just save this link for a rainy day.

Here is the link:

The Love Bomb

And yes, for those who listen, you will notice there is a Part 2 which you can listen to next.


December 21, 2013